Fat CrossFitter

The trials and tiny victories of a fat CrossFitter

14 notes &

Before the docs put the kibosh on CrossFit, on days I didn’t lift I’d usually make do with some dry shampoo and a whore’s bath. Now I’m not lifting, and sometimes I can’t remember the last time I showered. In related news, I’m single.

Filed under gross

6 notes &

You Guys

The outpouring of love and support for me and my dudebabies has been so ridiculously moving, and has provided me a sense of relief that I can’t put into English right now. (Go see!: http://www.gofundme.com/scotts-twins

Thank you, thank you, thank you. 

Thank you for your gifts.

And a bunch of folks have been all, “Sure, here’s a gift, but MERCH! MERCH! MERCH!”

I promise to get on that next week. A couple readers have offered to help design, which YES, PLEASE, because you know my brain only deals with the wurds—it’s not so good with the pitchers.

Anywhoodle, lovelovelove. Go lift something heavy.


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Filed under crossfit love

14 notes &

Coworker said, “Not only does it not look like you’re pregnant from behind, but I think your butt’s getting smaller.” I know she meant it as a compliment, but all I could think was THAT’S BECAUSE I’M NOT ALLOWED TO DO SQUATS. WAAAAAAAH!

Filed under crossfit pregnant fml

7 notes &

brittsrattery asked: Hey! I just found your blog today. You are able to put into words (eloquently, I might add!) how I feel about CrossFit. I've only been doing it a few months, but it has been such an empowering experience. I've never felt better about myself - physically or mentally - than since I started doing CrossFit. Yes, it sucks, it's hard, and sometimes I think I'm going to pass out or lose my lunch. But it's awesome, too. Thanks for the inspiration! :)

True! It sucks AND is awesome AT THE SAME TIME. Much like life.

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deidrenora asked: It's not a question. I've been doing crossfit for a few years and your meme about "do the work, fail a lot. Succeed a little. And no 8 dollar sports bras!" Is probably one of the best things I've ever seen. Especially the bra part. It made my day. Thank you!!

:) Don’t skimp! The girls deserve better!

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heather4110 asked: I just wanted to say how much I LOVE YOUR BLOG. I love your honesty and commentary. I seriously can't express how much your blog encourages me to keep going. So thank you. That's all I wanted to say.

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probably-napping asked: I start CrossFit for the first time Monday, any advice?

Buy the big bottle of ibuprofen.

Also, introduce yourself to at least one person every WOD.

1 note &

spianch asked: As a fellow fat crossfitter (with lowercase letters so you know I'm not tryna claim your throne) I excel at things with barbells (and can easily measure that I'm lifting more) and can sometimes get frustrated when my progress in running and similar stuff feels minimal. Any suggestions about tracking cardioish stuff so I can realize my progress? Also, I absolutely love your blog, so even if you don't answer this question publicly, it's important that you know that.


Hmmm, I don’t measure my cardio. I think because I don’t care about it. Hahaha, I know I should! I just don’t. I mean, I keep track of my fastest rows and runs and stuff, but I don’t think I’ve PRed any of that business in…years? Mostly, I just like to see the bumpers go up and the benchmark WOD times go down.

Thanks for the message and the love! 

3 notes &

alabamath asked: Hey--I stumbled across your blog, don't remember how. My name is Amy, I live in Durham too, I am 25 weeks pregnant, and I crossfit in Chapel Hill at Local. I've been trying to keep crossfitting, but it is a definite struggle. I'm getting slower and slower, and my movements have become quite restricted. Picking anything up off the ground requires ridiculous straddling. Running hurts my pubic bones, etc. But the commenter was right..."Crossfit isn't going anywhere." We'll be back.

Congratulations, Amy!

It’s true—CF will be there. My fears are (1) losing the one visible muscle I had developed [tricep], and (2) inertia—never getting back into it.

27 notes &

I Don’t Want You to Donate

I’ve never made a dime off my blogs. Any of ‘em. I’m a real bad businessperson, and I don’t know how to monetize my work. And truth is, I love writing, and I’ll probably do it for the rest of my life, even if I never get remunerated.

But one of my babies has some challenges: Down syndrome with related defects. Little dude’ll need bowel surgery on his first day outside and heart surgery before he’s six months.

And I teach public school in the state that’s 46th in the nation for teacher pay.

So if I provide a service to you, if you’ve read my shit and it’s made you laugh or cry or think, if you’ve liked it or shared it, I want to invite you to buy it. Think about other entertainment you’ve consumed (book, movie, game), compare the amount of pleasure you’ve derived from my posts, and put a number on it.

The prideful part of me doesn’t want you to donate. It wants you to pay me for services rendered. 

But in the spirit of getting over my shit, if you just want to donate, I’m gonna have to be OK with that too.

Because it’ll mean my baby can have heart surgery, and I won’t go into crippling debt about it. 

Here is the link: http://www.gofundme.com/scotts-twins

Any amount is appreciated. Seriously. Any amount. If every one of my Tumblr followers gave a dollar, that’d be nearly ten grand. If every one of you gave ten grand, totally fine with me.

Thanks for reading. Thanks for giving. And if you can’t give, I also accept payment in good juju. (See? Worst businessperson ever.)


Filed under pregnancy crossfit down syndrome